Session 370 (Private/Excerpt)

Saturday, June 08, 2009

Participants: Joanne (Tyl), Anonymous.

ANON: I’m just going to jump into it, because this has been a very big thing for me that I think you have been aware of. My issue has to do with women, with love, with heart, with home, all of these things together. For a long time, this has been a difficult issue in that oftentimes I’ve had trouble, Rose, living in officially accepted reality, in many ways. Quite frankly, without being macho or being flippant, or anything like that, I feel that I have a big heart, and I love women, sincerely… you know, they’re in my heart. And I have a very difficult problem in letting go, and moving on, or choosing only one, which is what’s expected.

This move [to another city] was very big for me and very important, and now that I’ve met [my current mate], I want to do things differently – if that’s the proper way of saying it – but at the same time, for me, it’s not about putting things or individuals behind me, or forgetting and moving on, because I know one never forgets. I just think that more than most people, I carry my past loves in my heart, and as you know, this has been a difficult situation. So I was wondering if we could discuss this, perhaps in a deeper sense, and maybe you could shed some light on it, because I want to keep doing the things that I’m driven to do. I just want to love, but sometimes I hold myself back because this isn’t, perhaps, what’s accepted, I don’t know. Am I making sense?

ROSE: (Exclaiming) Absolutely! (Chuckles with Anon) We think you’re doing a wonderful job at – first of all – loving. You have a very large sense that love is large, also. You have a sense there are reasons to want to always love more, if you can. These are very large issues for everyone. Indeed, we are very happy to be discussing this today, for you have a very strong sense that Rose is the woman in charge of heart-space, as well as love.

So we’ll begin with a brief assessment that will, hopefully, help you right away. But this is a very big topic also. So do continue to realize how you want Rose in your days to get the full lesson, so to speak, because you can trust we will help you in every way, in this manner. For you’re wanting to express Rose, but you’re not, in some ways, because you’re not including in your thinking how to love “the Rose way,” you might say. Okay.

So we’ll begin first, as well as foremost, with the expression that you’ll consider funny. We love all things. You have ways of loving this one, or that one, or something else besides a person. So you’re getting to the heart of the matter by saying, “I love,” period. “I love to be held by others in spiritual ways,” as well. These are the same things. Loving, in many ways, is the same as being spiritual, okay? We’ll not discard the differences, for there are a few, but mostly these things are the same. Okay?

So to love is how you move into new areas of spirit, as well as heart-space, as well as your very “needing to be in the world ways” that you might consider contrary, at times.[1] To love makes you contrary at times. There are no distinctions in regard to loving that you need. You don’t need any distinctions to say you’re not supposed to love this or that, you’re not supposed to love this person or that person, you’re not supposed to love anything that I don’t say is correct. In doing so, you lack the compassion for self that is required to be in the world, for you have many reasons to want to love others. But to say that you don’t because you’re afraid this will not be acceptable to someone is the point here.

You have heard many things about love: how it’s supposed to be shared, how it’s not supposed to be shared, how it’s appropriate in some instances, as well as not appropriate in other instances. So you’ll discover many belief systems about love that intrude on your loving. In this, you’re doing some things this way – you’re allowing the world to intrude on how you love. You don’t need to disregard a very fine example of love that you’ve discovered. You don’t need to stop loving, ever.

We suggest you’re realizing that you do never stop loving another, for when you do love another, you love Self, as well as that [person’s] characteristics sometimes. These are all geanius things, in many ways, that you get the benefit from when you love another. There’s not any reason to believe that to love helps the other person more than self. The love helps self foremost, all the time, all the time. To say you must stop loving would only make you less happy, less resourceful in your ways of spirit, in some ways.

So to say you have reason to love is the point here. For when you love, you examine your very nature in doing so, right? You have reasons to say “I want her because she is this way or that way,” but really you’re doing the same for self. You’re saying, “I want to be that person, I want to be inside that person, I want her to be inside me.” This is how you grow. In many ways, there’s really no other way to grow. In spite of how you might think of love, it’s a [growthful] way to spread yourself in the world, as well as spread the world inside yourself.

You have many spreading ways that we’d consider beautiful, if you would. You only need to allow these things in you – you do – but you also sometimes say, “I don’t want to say I love you, as it may harm me somehow.” Because you know, sometimes individuals have ways of spreading themselves too thin, in some ways, with you. They want to do things in spite of your defenses.

For example, you may have reason to say, “I don’t want to do that, but I love this person, so I will.” But you’re not doing what, when you do that? You don’t love self enough to say, “I don’t want that, so I will not allow that person to say, ‘If you love me you would do this.’” In this, you sometimes believe you have to if you love someone: you don’t. You don’t need to spread yourself too thin while you’re loving others. You only need to share that love in your way of spirit more selfishly at times, okay? That’s all.

ANON: Yes, I understand you perfectly. For the longest time I’ve felt that when I love the way I know how to, with complete abandon, is when I live. And that has been the driving force in my life always. It hasn’t been a career or money or anything else, nothing but that, because when I do love, I feel completely and totally alive and fulfilled.

I suppose the thing is, I don’t know when to stop, although I don’t want to say stop, but you know how it has to be one person at a time, sort of thing, and that’s what has been very difficult. I do understand exactly what you say, because you know how I feel, because you know how I’ve felt, and that is me. Without this inspiration, I feel like I have no reason to live; it’s that simple. So it’s a huge motivator and a reason for being, and I do understand you, and I do sense that I love myself.

I’ve grown a lot in that respect, because I have second-guessed myself too often, and in the past I have been down on myself, for different reasons. But I have come to realize these things and I have done a lot of loving work with you, and Elias, and Kris, and others. But the core of my being – and I can feel it in my heart, in my energy center – has been very open, and it has been this way for a long time, fulfilling me and it propelling me to live, to move, and ultimately to embrace myself, I suppose.

ROSE: You have reason to accept the premise that you need to love only one person at a time. You have some reason to accept this premise, okay? There are reasons that are clearly for the benefit of all individuals involved to do so, at times, but this is not a fast rule. This is a belief system about trust, as well as monogamy, as well as interdependency that sometimes clearly gets in the way of loving ways. So to say your loving is wrong if you’re loving another at the same time as someone else, these are times to change this. You need to consider doing this differently. We’re saying consider, not “do this because Rose says.”

ANON: Yes.

ROSE: But you have reason to say, “I want to love more than just one woman at a time.” You have reason to do so, why? To help yourself in selfish ways, perhaps – that’s why we suggested this earlier – but to say also, that you need to do so for the world, is another thing. Isn’t the world ready for a very geanius idea, like, you have so much potential for loving, that to share it with more than one lover, let’s say, at a time, is really possibly the healthiest way you might go about your business in the world? Why not say, “I want that today,” even? Why not say, “I love you, but I love her too”?

ANON: Sure.

ROSE: You have reason to do so. You have reason to do something else as well, which is, “I want to only love a very smart person who gets this idea.” You have reason to say, “I want to use this as a filter for how I love in the world.” For to say, “I want this” says volumes about you, about your needs. So why not consider there are reasons to say what you need to your lovers to get your needs met? Why not say this to them, if this is what you’re thinking, dear one?

ANON: It even goes beyond that, and you are right, because it’s a very inner need, and I think even a spiritual need, because it’s such a driving force that I can’t do it any other way. I can’t see me living any other way. I’ve tried it before, but it doesn’t last very long, it doesn’t work for very long, and then I become miserable, and consequently so does my partner.

So it’s been very, very difficult, and I don’t want to live in isolation either, particularly now that I’ve met this wonderful woman. I was talking to [a friend] and she said, “Well, if you want this to work out, do it differently,” and she has a point, I do realize this. But I also believe that within my dreams, while asleep – these are very powerful for me and are very telling, where you often appear, quite, quite often – there is some understanding of what you say, and this connection that I’ve had with you for a long, long time motivates me to discuss this subject with you now.

Furthermore, Rose, I’m not even looking for you to tell me what to do. I just want to discuss this issue, because there’s nobody that I can really discuss this with that would even, might even, understand – at least the people that I know. I just want to come to a point where I can feel comfortable, be true to myself, honor myself and not fear. Because a lot of this is driven by fear, too, the fear of hurting someone else. And I know I’m not responsible for them, but it’s still a very, very strong belief I have.

ROSE: You’re correct to be sontering[2] Rose for answers. This is the best way to get the answers, as well, in your spiritual life, okay? So you’re doing the work all the time, we know this, without needing to love Rose so much that you spend the time with her. So you’re doing the work, in many ways, all the time, okay? We know this. So don’t wrong on self for doing some things in person, so to speak. You don’t need to only do this invisibly, so to speak, okay?

So do the work, but try to imagine Rose as a very big self who is very huge in heart. What do you think you’d do as far as lovers go? What do you think you’d be doing, or who would you be doing, you might say? (Anon chuckles.) What you would be doing is all that, as well as every way of loving you could, correct?

ANON: Yes, exactly.

ROSE: You might say, “I want to love that poster-child, or that beautiful sunset, or that beautiful rock, or tree.” You do this. This is your way of spirit, in many ways, but to say, “I will only love this woman” wouldn’t be accurate in that respect, right?

ANON: Yes.

ROSE: You’d say “I want to love all women,” perhaps, as well, right? You do love all women, in many ways, don’t you?

ANON: I do.

ROSE: You have a very strong sense of womanhood that is truly beautiful. You have a very strong sense of men, too, but this is not to say this is your strength. Your strength, in many ways, is in love, as well as loving women. You have ways that are beautiful to them as well. You have many fealings that transcend the realization of how you love them as well. You have reason to want to love them more, sometimes. You want to love them more than you can at times.

You’re realizing the limits of the perspectives you’ve been raised with, about love being only one set of circumstances at a time. In many ways, the capacity to love is the way of spirit. This is your way of spirit, to love many women, perhaps. Why not try to think of this as the [intent] name[3] you’ve wanted to have for some time? Lover-of-Women.

ANON: Hmmm.

ROSE: This is as beautiful an expression of essence as we might consider, ever. So to say, “I love women as a rule” wouldn’t necessarily be your everyday expression to others. But you might say, “I love women so much, I want to love them always. In this, I want to be free to do so.” This doesn’t mean sex all the time, nor does it mean being unfaithful all the time. Sometimes it may mean sex, sometimes it may mean different variations on the ways you have of defining sexual relationships. But you don’t need to lock yourself into a serial monogamy set of circumstances, either.

You have reason to want to say, “I want to do things differently.” Now how about the way they choose to respond to that? They might say, “I think that’s awful.” “I think that’s great.” “I think that’s something I need to consider, but not at the present time.” “I think I would like to experience that,” might be something they’d say.

Then what? You’d say, “I want to do this with you, then. Let’s figure this out together. Let’s figure out how to love each other with sex, with honor, with dignity,” in many ways, with the spiritual capacity that you know you have in you. So why not say, “I need to try this. I want to try this with you. How do you feel about that?” You have every reason to ask the question, dear one, for you do know this may be an issue at a later time.

ANON: Yes, absolutely. That’s beautiful, Rose, thank you for shedding light on an angle of this issue, when I thought I had covered all the bases, yet I hadn’t thought of this particular angle, which I believe honors me, honors the other person, and at the same time is a very open and loving way to express a very deep sentiment.

ROSE: Exactly. Your depth is the key here, not your shallowness. Okay? There are reasons to consider that when individuals do this, it’s their shallowness that’s at work, their immaturity that’s at work. This is very different. To say this another way: this is the way of spirit we’ll be recommending to other individuals, also. Rose has many things to shake your world up, this is one of them, okay?

So do consider doing this work in your way of spirit, that is, in your days ahead. This is the way of spirit for yourself, dear one. Don’t think of this as a very innately masculine, immature way that you have of getting the (Chuckling) ass you’re wanting, okay?

ANON: (Laughing with Jo) I love it.

ROSE: This is not that, okay? This is not that at all. Okay?

ANON: I know, I know. Even when I was little I knew what it was, and I now realize it transcends the physical, the sex, even though it’s a big part of it… yes, I’m just repeating what you said, and it’s beautiful. Thank you.

You’ve given me a completely new perspective on something. It’s an answer that I suppose I’ve been seeking for years, Rose, for years. Sometimes I think, is this a weakness? Is it an inherent weakness? Yet I’ve always known deep inside that it really isn’t, because I do love with a sense of purpose, and honor, totally and fully, but differently than what society has taught us.

ROSE: You’re exactly right. This is how you’re doing the work in the world as well, by providing examples of alternate ways of loving, as well as living, right? So do continue to love yourself into the next phase.[4] We’ll say this again a bit more strongly: do continue to love yourself into the next phase. For to say that your phase is coming up in Roses is the point here, it is. So to say you’re loving yourself into it is how you can think of this information.

We will continue to answer your questions also, if you have more, dear one, unless you’d like to continue with your Rosy topic about love this evening.

ANON: I think we could talk for hours and hours. Thank you.

(Transcribed by Nardine Neilson.)

Endnotes:

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[1] Joanne’s note: Rose uses the word contrary with respect to her Contrary Self teachings. For more information, see Rose’s Teachings.

[2] Joanne’s note: Sontering is the practice of breathing in essence.

[3] Joanne’s note: Intent names are those that describe our unique intent and purpose in life. For more information and practice, see Discover Your Intent Name.

[4] Joanne’s note: See Love YourSelf into the Next Phase.